I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
