Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
