just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think my mom watched the whole time
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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