Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
