do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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