If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
