i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
