it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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