Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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