yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
