Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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