i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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