you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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