The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
