I am puke
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
