WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
