wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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