I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
