Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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