I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
