The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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