Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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