I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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