I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
