I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
