Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The power of my boobs compel you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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