Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
