So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
