i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
