I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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