Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
