She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
