We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
