i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
