So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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