i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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