i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
