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I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
