I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
