She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
