I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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