I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
