I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
