last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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