im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Send help, water and tortillas.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
