You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
