Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
