for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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