**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
