I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
